*sigh*

My quiz-freeness has been broken. Oh well. At least it lasted a month. And it wasn't quizilla. I just couldn't stand not taking this one... since I've this creepy thought lingering in my mind for awhile.. that I would die before my 16th birthday...

You scored as Bomb. Your death will be by bombing. You will probably be an innocent bystander, not doing anything wrong and not a person who was targeted at, just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Bomb 80% Stabbed 73% Suicide 73% Suffocated 67% Eaten 67% Disappear 67% Gunshot 60% Disease 60% Drowning 53% Accident 47% Posion 47% Natural Causes 33% Cut Throat 20% How Will You Die?? created with QuizFarm.com

Not having a good... weekend. Yesterday, the middle part, with Katie, was wonderful. She made me feel so much better. But directly before and after that, terrible. I'd rather not blog about it.
All I can say is I expect my 16th birthday to be the worst birthday I've ever had... if in no other way, at least emotionally... I remember I cried on my.. 15th birthday, I think it was... and I just can't imagine this birthday will be any better.
If there was any time I needed prayer, it would be now. Now more than ever before.
My birthday is 4 days away... why does it have to be this way? I know God's plan is better than mine... and I know He uses trials to help me grow closer to Him... this one is more intense than anything I've ever been through before...
Sorry this is such a depressing post. Maybe I'll feel better in a few weeks...maybe...hopefully...
Optimism seems so far away...never thought I'd say or think that...
Thankles for reading.
just bethany