Please send 7623 cookies
This is a message from Crazy Banana-Aliens Inc.
We assume that said readers of blog are here to find out about Bethany's doings. Perhaps investigators of sorts. We are amazingly happy to report to you that Bethany has been abducted by wierd banana-aliens. (not affiliated with us)
We do not respond to any emails. So do not try to contact us. It will take some time to try to find our email, anyways. If you ever want to see your affiliate again, you must send 7623 cookies to Bethany's address where we (eh, I mean those wierd banana-aliens not affiliated with us) have abducted her.
We do not respond well to negotiation, but if you really want to reobtain access to Bethany (ie if you want us to let her go) and you cannot complete said terms, than you must contact us as soon as possible in regards to the negotiation process.
As to how you may contact us, you must find that out yourself. That is, if you ever want to see your affiliate again.
If you wish to remain in a free society never trust a banana. They may impose the same doom on you as they have on your affiliate.
Also, to those who wish to know her condition, she is fine, yes, juuuuust fine. Except that the banana-aliens of doom implanted they're virus into her which she has been unable to extract even with a pill equal to 24 teaspoons of Robitussin.
That is all.
We assume that said readers of blog are here to find out about Bethany's doings. Perhaps investigators of sorts. We are amazingly happy to report to you that Bethany has been abducted by wierd banana-aliens. (not affiliated with us)
We do not respond to any emails. So do not try to contact us. It will take some time to try to find our email, anyways. If you ever want to see your affiliate again, you must send 7623 cookies to Bethany's address where we (eh, I mean those wierd banana-aliens not affiliated with us) have abducted her.
We do not respond well to negotiation, but if you really want to reobtain access to Bethany (ie if you want us to let her go) and you cannot complete said terms, than you must contact us as soon as possible in regards to the negotiation process.
As to how you may contact us, you must find that out yourself. That is, if you ever want to see your affiliate again.
If you wish to remain in a free society never trust a banana. They may impose the same doom on you as they have on your affiliate.
Also, to those who wish to know her condition, she is fine, yes, juuuuust fine. Except that the banana-aliens of doom implanted they're virus into her which she has been unable to extract even with a pill equal to 24 teaspoons of Robitussin.
That is all.
posted by Miss Goose at 5:04 PM
18 Bananas:
Hmmm, am I allowed to visit Betani? Maybe then I won't actually need to give you your cookies!
*gives one hundred cookies*
*bounces*
Brennick
Thank you for your kind services, Brennick. Are you allowed to visit Betani? Of course, but you live in Wisconsin...
Okie, commenters, here's how you give the cookies:
You may give 100 at a time, once a day. Every time you give it adds to the count. So the count is currently at 100. The limit of how many you can give at a time may be increased, if there is no cheating and kind peoples. Or perhaps the number you must give (currently 7623) decreased.
~Crazy Banana-Aliens~
What *kind* of cookies do you require, oh Lords of the Deep (if tropical) Space? Do you favor Orios? Or perhaps you object to the black stuff they leave on your teeth. Chocolate chip? But, these are so very normal, one could get them anywhere. Macadamia nut? Too...chunky, I think. Aha!! I have it: The Incredible, Almost Inedible, Reeses-Snickers-Chocolate-chip-Fudge-sundae-BANANA-cookies! *is filled with inspiration*
*concocts and delivers 100 exactly of said culinary torture*
Yeah. Whatever.
grace
7632 cookies? That is not a small number! That is a big number! What am I gonna do?
Weeeeelllll, since I have no cookies at the present, I really can't send any of those, can I? I can however send 4356 celery muffins. Would that help at all?
Thank you, Grace and Rachel D, for your kind services.
Any kind of cookies will do. But, since you put so much thought into it, and gave such a wonderful concoction, that counts as 200 cookies.
And your celery muffins do count. They count as 100 cookies.
So that leaves our count currently at 400 cookies.
And, because of your generousity, sending 4356 of your finest celery muffins, Rachel D, the limit is up to 576 cookies at a time.
And, actually, Rachel, the number is '7623' not '7632'. But, yes, it is a high number. Which is why it may be randomly decreased. If one more person (different) gives cookies, the number will go down significantly.
~Crazy Banana-Aliens~
I meant, while she'd in capitvity! And please do not reveal my location to the general public as the mofia may, in fact be looking for me!
Also, I'm hurt that all my attempts to give more than one hundred at once failed only to find that Rachel knew the way to do it... So I was wondering how she knew what to do...?
Well, speaking of muffins, when I was five, I invented pizza-flavored muffins and called the pizza-puffins, so if I give you 63 and a 1/2 pizza puffins will that help? Or maybe only 63 cause you might not want the half I ate out of....
*gives five hundred seventy-six cookies, bringing the count to 976 cookies*
*bounces and trips*
Brennick
Terribly sorry, Brennick.
You're efforts are greatly appreciated- for your kind generousity, a message from Betani:
Hello, one and all! Whooaaa... pizza-puffins? Sweeeet... thankles for your kindness! Brennick, quit hurtin' yourself, boy! :D Hopefully I'll be freed soon! *end of recording*
Your 63 pizza puffins have counted as 126 cookies. So that brings the count to 1102 cookies.
~Crazy Banana-Aliens~
*Give 576 cookies*
YAY! It counted as something! I did something right, I did something right!
*does happy dance*
Okie, I'm done now.
*gives five-hundred seventy-two cookies, bringing the count to two-thousand two hundred fifty (2250)*
The count has been lowered to 5000. Only...2750 more cookies for Bethany to be freed.
Thank you, for your kind services, peoples.
~Crazy Banana-Aliens~
Bethany's such a pushover...
*Oof* Ish tiredish.
*hands five-hundred seventy-five cookies and a shake*
*hands 576 cookies, a shake, and a paperclip*
The count is currently at 3401.
And I gave Miss Betani the shake. She thanks you profusely and jumps up and down and hugs everything and everyone until we restrain her to a chair.
Oh, and this paperclip will be quite useful in sticking up her nose. *maniac laughing ensues*
~Crazy Banana-Aliens~
Oh no! Bethany will be freed soon!
*counts the cookies in the cupboard*
Uh, 5 cookies?
*gives the cookies*
*looks further in the cupboard*
Experation date...1996...Uh...
*gives 190 cookies*
Hope you get freed soon!! Don't rattle the tin cup too much on the iron bars! I heard it gets really annoying after awhile.
:-)
~ Rachel E
Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have given the paperclip... Heres some de-paperclipifier.
*have four-hundred nineteen cookies*
Current count: 4010
Next Tuesday is Escape Day.
http://suda.co.uk/projects/holidays/
Uh oh.
*gives five-hundred seventy-six cookies*
Yum.... I like that flavor.
Gives 576 cookies.
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